| oh... my... fucking... god |
[04 Jul 2008|11:08pm] |
this is, without a doubt, the GREATEST FUCKING THING EVER PUT FORTH BY MAN KIND!!!
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| another day in my life... |
[17 Oct 2007|11:22pm] |
verbatim conversation with someone over the phone at work:
him: i'm trying to log into my benefits page but it won't work
me: won't... work
him: yeah, won't work
me: define 'won't work'
him: well, it... it ain't working
me: ... as in, you can't log in? you can log in but it isn't displaying right? the link isn't working? you're getting an error? what?
him: i put in my name and my password but it won't let me log in
me: okay then. that particular link is controlled by HR and i can't reset that password, BUT there's some things we can do
him: okay
me: go to tools > internet options. click 3 buttons - delete files, delete cookies, clear history
................... 5 minutes later
him: okay, i'm in the control panel. you said tools?
me: you're WHAT?
him: in the control panel
me: the... the control... what? no, click on tools
him: there is no tools
me: there's no 'tools' at the top of the internet explorer window?
him: i'm using the other one
me: the what?
him: the other one. firenet explorer
me: ........ firefox?
him: yeah, that one
me: okay, well that changes things
him: okay hold up
................ 5 minutes later
him: okay i have the internet explorer up and i'm in control panel
me: ............... fucking die you stupid cockwad <- okay i didn't really say that. but i thought it!
me: no, nonono... no. close the control panel. just go into internet explorer and try to log in
him: you said click on what 3 buttons?
me: no, exit that, it doesn't matter now
him: delete cookies?
me: EXIT THAT - just try to log in
................ 5 minutes later
him: delete files?
me: ............................ yes. delete files. done? fine. try to log in now
him: it's running slow. i'll call you back
*click*
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| "my grandmother used to tell me that god was in the brain" |
[09 Oct 2007|07:49pm] |
http://www.sciam.com/print_version.cfm?articleID=434D7C62-E7F2-99DF-37CC9814533B90D7
"To seal the case for the temporal lobe’s involvement, Michael Persinger of Laurentian University in Ontario sought to artificially re-create religious feelings by electrically stimulating that large subdivision of the brain. So Persinger created the “God helmet,” which generates weak electromagnetic fields and focuses them on particular regions of the brain’s surface.
In a series of studies conducted over the past several decades, Persinger and his team have trained their device on the temporal lobes of hundreds of people. In doing so, the researchers induced in most of them the experience of a sensed presence—a feeling that someone (or a spirit) is in the room when no one, in fact, is—or of a profound state of cosmic bliss that reveals a universal truth. During the three-minute bursts of stimulation, the affected subjects translated this perception of the divine into their own cultural and religious language—terming it God, Buddha, a benevolent presence or the wonder of the universe."
so, all this 'personal revelation' crap is just randomly firing neurons. what a fucking surprise.
this raises all sorts of interesting points, about how we interpret things like haunted houses, or ghosts, or places that just feel 'eerie' - if neuroscience has allowed us to pinpoint that kind of electromagnetic frequencies can trigger certain emotions, than natural ambient phenomena pretty much explains away most superstitious beliefs.
what i find most compelling about this that it explains shared experiences, like 'feeling' a presence or some such. i've always put a healthy but skeptical stock in stories of 'feeling something' in certain places, but knew there was a rational explanation for it that wasn't actually ghouls and goblins.
( totally unrelated stuff )
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| pure awesome |
[17 Jul 2007|08:13pm] |
this is one of the coolest images i have ever seen.
anyone who can look at this and figure out what it is without having to check the source, i will give you 50 dollars...
from here
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| take THAT, god-boy! |
[26 Jun 2007|05:09pm] |
as anyone who knows me is well aware, i despise religion with a fervent passion.
i also love debating religious ditto-heads, partly because i'm confrontational, partly because i'm arrogant enough to think that i 'pwn' them whenever a serious discussion is had, and partly because my own personal beliefs about religion and god are actually agnostic (not atheist, as most people likely think) and a part of me is searching for a christian that is actually convincing, for the sole purpose that i love being proved wrong on something.
one thing i've found is exceptionally true when debating religion directly, or topics which are influenced by religion, is to never try and use such flimsy and non-credible arguments like 'facts' or 'reality', because if those things had any importance to religious-minded people, they wouldn't believe in religion to begin with.
the only way to get anywhere when talking to a religious sycophant (re: anyone who isn't an atheist or strong agnostic) is to beat them at their own game, by bitch-slapping them with the very enshrined, leather-bound stupidity that they're using to justify themselves in the first place.
as such, i found this article to be very interesting, since abortion is one of those things that i didn't have a lot of biblical arguments for.
throwing this in the face of the next christian douche who tries to say abortion is murder will be an utter delight.
*edit*
apologies to those who pulled up the link and got a registration page, it seems this web page is flakey and half the time gives you the article, half the time a registration page.
( here is the article: )
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| a day in the life... |
[16 May 2007|10:43pm] |
i talk about the utterly stupid people i talk to on the phones a lot, but i really don't share enough of the rampaging idiocy of my co-workers.
for your consideration:
brian (we'll call him tweedledumb) - a 20 something who enjoys pirating DVDs, and being a bug-eyed retard
bryan (we'll call him tweedledumber) - not sure how old he is, but his face is made of lumpy crisco, and his has one of those big thick mid 70's charles bronson pedostaches. he plays WoW and has an IQ lower than your common garden vegetable.
tweedledumber: so, do you have x-men 3?
tweedledumb: shit no man! god, no. just... no.
tweedledumber: oh. why, couldn't find it?
tweedledumb: no man, it's horrible. they kill like half the cast in the first 20 minutes
tweedledumber: woah man, really?
tweedledumb: yeah. they kill... professor X. and mystique loses her powers! and... and they kill cyclops
tweedledumber: wow man
me (smacking forehead and then craning neck around edge of my cubicle): yeah. 2 people dead. which actually WAS half the cast, that's not just angsty snobbish hyperbole. little known fact: x-men 3 only had 4 actors in it.
tweedledumber: really? only 4? i didn't know that... wow, i bet they saved a lot of money!
(of special note: he was NOT being sarcastic)
SPECIAL EXTRA BONUS FEATURES!!
TDer: hey, thanks for letting me watch 300! man, that was off the hook!
TD: sure thing
TDer: man you know the dopest part? that giant! man!
TD: yeah, that was badass. i don't know how they made him so big... you just can't make someone look that big camera angles and crates.
me: .... yeah, didn't you know? they found an actor for that part who was actually 13 feet tall.
TDer: woah, really? oh my god!
TD: dude... no way
me: no, seriously. 13 feet tall... you can't make people look different heights like that with special effects.
TDer: yeah that makes sense
me: didn't you know the whole reason they hired elijah wood for lord of the rings is that he's actually 3 1/2 feet tall?
TD: *bug eyed* wow REALLY?
TDer: no... man no way! i saw him on david letterman, he looked taller than that.
me: totally true. TV makes you look taller than you are.
TDer: wow, i didn't know that! man, that's cool!
TD: wow...
me: .... jesus mcfuck you people are fucking stupid.
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| okay... what the bloody hell? |
[16 May 2007|06:30pm] |
there's only one person who ever reads this that is going to understand the sheer and utter horror inherent in what i'm posting... but i'm esoteric enough to be comfortable with that.
there are great minds within the human race, and have been throughout our history.
people of vision, and of imagination - people able to weave a tapestry of words, or conjure beautiful alternate realities, or dazzle us with visions of other worlds.
the presence of greatness, in all forms of art, are obvious and self evident.
however, in even the greatest of minds, there exists an inescapable core of basic human stupidity.
hence, even our the most awe-inspiring of our storytellers can sometimes deliver on us a masterpiece of literary beauty, then turn around and slam out a book of knock-knock jokes based on the humor sensibility of the average 1950's housewife from idaho.
the great tragedy in this is that, apparently, the movie makers in this country are functionally retarded when it comes to adapting one medium to another (with a few notable exceptions).
quite often, a great and complex work will be reduced to a steaming pile of hokey B grade shit (sphere, for example).
which brings me to my point... among fantastic works such as Sandman, Neverwhere, American Gods, and even Good Omens... why in the MONKEY FUCKING HELL ARE THESE IDIOTS MAKING A MOVIE OUT OF Stardust?????
and more importantly... why do i know that i will go and see this movie?
maybe there's a pattern here. i think it might be possible. yes, yes i see it...
great sci fi book = utter shit movie (sphere, congo, jurassic park, johnny mneumonic)
shitty fantasy book = great movie (LOTR, er.... LOTR)
man. this movie has a really good cast. wtf?
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[03 May 2007|08:01pm] |
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| aggrevation |
[02 May 2007|10:19pm] |
okay so, don't watch the video - it's just some stupid video capture of counterstrike.
this is a song from the new nine inch nails album. the song is called 'the great destroyer'
it is a bright and flaring example of why nine inch nails is pissing me off:
the lyrics are powerful enough to match his older work, but he's completely fucking it all up by pulling a VNV nation and using utterly sucktastic singing methods.
trent has an utterly amazing voice, and a unique ability to scream, have his voice break and crack, and have it sound absolutely astounding.
but, much like ronin harris did on the last two VNV nation albums, trent seems intent on using his voice in ways in which it doesn't work - namely, 'singing' in a classic way, instead of the guttural speak-sing or raw scream he's done before.
this song could be so freaking awesome if he didn't go all morrisey at the end of the main chorus.
and what the HELL is up with the way he does the last line? i keep expecting it to segue into a GI joe or transformers movie action sequence.
"i am the great destroyer....... GGGGOOOO JOE!"
this is something he started doing on with teeth that pissed me off. it's probably why that album pissed me off as much as it did. he's continuing it with zeal here, and it's irking the shit out of me.
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| a change of focus |
[01 May 2007|05:34pm] |
evidently my LJ has become the place where, at my whim, i subject those of you who read this to the utter horrors that is my nightly adventures at work, and thrust upon you the sheer awesomeness of the terror that is the crap i find online.
on a related note:
DM of the rings has become one of my favorite web comics.
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| ..... |
[24 Apr 2007|11:07pm] |
how sad. even in the 80's he was cooler than he is now. sigh...
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